MINNEAPOLIS - A practice upheld by the U.S. Supreme Court that allows ICE Agents to target people for not speaking "the Queen's English" now applies to toddlers as young as zygote. Kristi Noem announced that her department would crack down on pregnant women and children. "Some of these pre-babies have been in the wombs of our country for 9 months without documentation and don't speak a word of English. Thanks to our brave agents, their silence will no longer cover up their crimes" Noem said.
Operation Womb-to-Deportation is expected to end third-trimester threats, fetal overstays and placental terrorists by arresting newborns that cross border wombs into America without a passport in hand.
Over the coming months, ICE's goal will be to hammer home the message that America will no longer tolerate people slithering into the country through various birth canals. "Statistics show that 95% of babies getting in this way end up staying a lifetime. That's longer than the Dreamers," said an unidentified ICE agent. "We're going to put an end to it!"
As part of the promise to secure America, ICE will continue diverting millions of taxpayer dollars from healthcare to train and hire storks for its baby deportation program.
Federal ICE agents use kitchen tongs as speculums in war against baby immigrants