Karoline Leavitt Expected To Deliver Nation’s First ‘Press Baby’ During Live Briefing

WASHINGTON - Determined to give birth to the country's first "Press Baby," Karoline Leavitt has become the symbol of America's conservative birth war. As its de facto leader, many in the movement expect her to carry the baby to term and deliver live during a press-room briefing - just to show liberal women how it's done. Cynthia Cooper, a source close to the matter added, "Karoline's only anesthesia will be a hot towel, like patriotic births are intended."

In preparation for her expected May 2026 delivery, Leavitt has 69 in-person doulas with her at all times, plus 36 on-call backups. "You really can't turn around without bumping into one of them, even with the constant baby whispering that they do," Cynthia explained. "It's kind of creepy, but I'm sure it is necessary."

Rumors circulating online suggest Karoline's motive to give birth in the White House is to ensure patriotic citizenship for her child. According to new interpretations of the Fourteenth Amendment's jurisdiction clause, children born in government facilities or monuments allegedly possess a higher level of patriotism than those born in hospitals. It's also surmised that they rank higher in citizenship. We asked Cynthia, but she wasn't familiar with that information; however she did add "That explains why we've had 17 women give birth at the Lincoln Memorial last week. One even climbed up and delivered hers in his lap. We still need to send the cleaning crew back to remove what's left of the placenta from the Founding Father."

A baby bump, lip filler and a cross might weigh some women down, but not Karoline Leavitt.