WILLIAMSTOWN - Lions, tigers, bears and plagues. Visitors to the Ark Encounter were exposed to more than just a history lesson at the Christian theme park this month. Museum staff sounded the alarm after someone tipped over and shattered a set of Noah's alabaster ointment jars. The sealed Genesis-era containers discovered on the science deck, held every disease Noah had collected in pairs.
"Luckily those jars only held biblical boils and dysentery pairs" said museum curator Matthew Adkins. "Unfortunately, they had centuries to multiply - if you know what I mean." Some guests immediately broke out in measles like rashes, while others shuffled off to the bathrooms or collapsed in cold sweats.
"I was rather disappointed," said a woman who'd been standing in the contamination zone. "That thing was almost the length of two football fields, with thousands of visitors hoping to connect with a part of our true history, yet they tell me it doesn't float and isn't fireproof. How moronic is that?"
The museum's curator noted that a lot of visitors ask this. "It's our most frequently asked question" he said. "People want to know where to go for the next cataclysmic event. Most think it'll be fire, but you don't even want to know what's in Noah's pithos jars. If someone breaks one of those, we're all donezo!"
Noah welcomes the guest scholars seldom speak about